By Allen Berger Ph. D.
Letting cross of resentment and forgiving ourselves for our earlier wrongs are serious to restoration from alcohol and different medicines. but, Steps 8, 9, and Ten, which concentrate on making amends, will be one of the most not easy to paintings, simply because we needs to face ourselves and people who we've got damage or damaged.
In 12 Hidden Rewards of creating Amends, Allen Berger, PhD, makes use of an analogous supportive, down-to-earth variety as in his well known publication 12 silly issues That reduce to rubble Recovery. His artistic instruments and counsel may help us enable pass of anger, heal strained relationships, and make monetary and emotional restitution. via this transformative approach we can:
get better and keep integrity
get to the bottom of or whole unfinished business
restoration belief, vainness, and self-confidence
deepen our spirituality and peace of mind
make stronger a robust dedication to recovery
By being responsible for our phrases and activities and relocating ahead with a compassionate and constructive...
Read or Download 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10 PDF
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Extra info for 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends: Finding Forgiveness and Self-Respect by Working Steps 8-10
Self-assertiveness makes us anxious. Therefore we can easily become victims in relationships. We dare not stand up for ourselves. We long for help, protection, and the experience of love both passionate and spiritual. We become chameleon-like, trying to figure out what someone wants us to be and molding ourselves to their image. If the appeal of mastery becomes the focus of our solution, we try to get love and acceptance via the expansive solution. We earn love by excelling, by being the best, and by being superior in some way.
To address this unresolved trauma, he needs to follow a different path. A fully functioning person will be willing and able to follow the path of their experience wherever that path leads. In the example above, Jeremy will need to address his feelings toward his father, once he has finished making amends to his wife. Because his father passed away, he may need to imagine his dad sitting in front of him while he says the things to him he has always wanted to say about being mistreated. Here’s an example of something one of my patients shared with me the other day.
Let’s imagine Jeremy had an argument with his spouse the other day, and ever since then something has been gnawing at him (We sense). He just doesn’t feel good about what happened. Jeremy wasn’t able to identify what was bothering him, but after he thought about it for a while he realized that he needed to make amends (We become aware). He said many things that he doesn’t feel good about. He needs to apologize, to work Step 10. Yesterday, he didn’t think his partner deserved an apology. He justified his rotten behavior.